In the world, but not of the world

Above all, there were four awakening experiences that challenged my previous understanding of myself and of life.

I had studied martial arts early on and was also active as a trainer. During a lesson, in the middle of a flowing movement sequence, I suddenly looked down on myself and everyone else from above. There was my body, functioning wonderfully and leading a group, and at the same time something that went beyond the body, which was completely still and could take in everything in the room. It was completely peaceful. Who was that?

A little later, I suffered a lot of grief and sadness after a personal loss. Everything else that had helped me to feel “better” didn’t work. One morning I woke up with a feeling of boundless bliss. There was nothing to weigh me down, I was free of all suffering. From this state, I was able to watch my thoughts gradually sink in. I thought about where I was, what day it was … and with the memory of my loss, heaviness and depression instantly returned to my system and the pain moved back into my body. I wondered who the person was who had been lying happily in bed just moments before.

When I planned to relieve persistent back pain with the help of certain exercises, my body began to move as if by itself. I let it happen, just noticing the movements and positions. My body seemed to know exactly what was good for it – after half an hour I was free of pain.
The next day, I was literally drawn to a shelf of yoga books in a bookshop. One of them contained the exact exercises that I had intuitively practiced the day before. I was fascinated and with the help of the books I learned more and more asanas, which I now practiced for up to eight hours a day. From the very beginning, I felt at home in this practice.

I had an equally formative experience after falling asleep one evening with a strong feeling of discomfort. I woke up at night and looked down from above at my sleeping body lying in bed. It was obvious that I was floating above it in the room, which I perceived as being illuminated in gold. Again I felt pure bliss, this time during sleep. And I watched as the body woke up and I was drawn back into it. Along with the waking consciousness, the physical discomfort returned. But who was the person who had been present before, who had felt liberated and light? And how did I lose this state again?

I couldn’t let go of these questions.

I was introduced to several styles of yoga, including Sukshma Vyayama Yoga, a yoga series that goes back to Maharshi Kartikeya, and Ashtanga Yoga, a Hatha yoga system that also appealed to me because of its high athletic demand. Initially, I practiced these two systems for several hours a day, which triggered a deep cleansing process. My body was strengthened, detoxified and prepared.

By cleansing the energy channels, I experienced an enormous sensitization. Suddenly I was able to predict events in great detail, hear other people’s thoughts and see auras. Even illnesses that had not yet been diagnosed revealed themselves to me. How should I deal with this? How should I continue?
In a book, I came across the statement that guidance from a master becomes increasingly important after profound experiences and as practice progresses. I realized that this was exactly what I needed now.

I practiced with very good yoga teachers in the West, including David Life, Sharon Gannon, David Williams, Bryan Kest, Duncan Wong, Godfrey Devereux and Baron Baptiste. In particular, my encounters with Swami Samarpanananda Saraswati in Munich and Sri K. Pattabhi Jois in London inspired me in my practice.

As I had developed my own yoga series, I wanted to have them checked by a yoga master before I passed them on. But who should I turn to? I prayed for support, whereupon I was shown an Indian master in a dream, who I found on a website shortly afterwards. By studying his work, I found answers to my questions. I came across seminars he was organizing in New York and signed up. However, something made me hesitate, so I prayed again and asked the question: “Who is my master?”. The following night, I dreamt of Richard Baker Roshi, a Zen master whose events I had occasionally attended with my wife. I dreamt that he took me by the hand to the skies and we flew together. When I woke up, I wasn’t entirely convinced – it could have been a coincidence. The next evening I repeated my prayer and dreamt of him again, after which I canceled the seminar in New York and booked one with Baker Roshi.

From then on, I attended his classes as often as I could manage. I intensified my meditation and Zen practice as well as my relationship with him.

Later, I remembered an earlier dream that now made sense. The book “Autobiography of a Yogi” was lying on my bedside table at the time. Whenever my eyes fell on the cover, I had the feeling that I knew Paramahansa Yogananda from somewhere. Finally, I dreamt about him and saw him together with several people in front of a large hut in the forest. I immediately wanted to go and talk to him, but as I started to move, he looked at me and said: “Daniel, you’re not ready yet. Go and study Buddhism. Go and see someone like the Dalai Lama.” The next image I saw in my dream was myself climbing a steep hill. A few months later, I joined a study program with Baker Roshi, a study of Buddhism. Through this began a period of even more intensive examination of myself and life.

In Baker Roshi’s seminars, I encountered the most profound wisdom. Although the Zen practice did not initially captivate me as much as that of the classical yogis, I found something special there: I could see what Baker Roshi taught embodied in him. Without immediately understanding everything, I felt the truth in his words and that he himself had experienced and mastered what he was talking about.

When I asked him how I could naturally integrate my mediumistic abilities into my life, even before his answer, I could see from his reaction that he knew exactly what I was talking about. I saw the integration of all this in him and also that it wasn’t really about that at all. The result was deep reassurance.

He didn’t make it easy for me to get in touch with him in the usual way, and over time I experienced a bond that went far beyond personal boundaries. His subtle way of guiding me was not directed at my intellect, which was very challenging at times. At the same time, I knew – for example, when he took over word for word phrases that I had chosen in conversations during the break and continued them in his lessons – that he understood me very clearly and was therefore able to help me.

It was also remarkable that he answered all my questions during the seminars as if it were a matter of course. I never had to ask them. Or that I could feel and see where exactly he was in the seminar center. Before the lessons began, I was regularly so attuned to him that by the time he entered the zendo, I had already “accompanied” him step by step on his way there.

It was only in retrospect that I understood how influential Baker Roshi’s impulses had been for my development over the years. Although he never told me what to do, the time I spent with him significantly shaped my decisions and what I focused on.

During a weekend workshop with Baker Roshi, the meaning of non-duality was revealed to me. I came across a participant who had discovered a dead bird on the surface of a lake during an outdoor break and was therefore concerned. As I approached, the sunlight fell on a swimming water snake that looked beautiful in its liveliness and movement. I drew the participant’s attention to it. She was delighted at the sight, but pointed to the lifeless body of the bird and said: “It’s not so beautiful.” At that moment, I felt that both appearances were completely equal. Both were equally beautiful. How could that be?
I realized: this is awareness. To perceive everything as it is – and thus to be aware of the beauty inherent in everything, the light that illuminates everything. Apparently I had just been so immersed in the awareness of my master, which is the awareness of all of us, that a non-dualistic vision was temporarily possible. I gained an insight into the power of transference. Such experiences gave me valuable insights during and after the seminar.

This was also the case during another seminar, where my wife and I were accommodated in a room above the han (a wooden board that is struck with a wooden hammer, which in Zen serves as a time signal, among other things). While my body was still asleep, I clearly perceived what was going on there and throughout the house. I saw a monk go to the han and strike it. Together with the sound, I woke up and learned again that there is something that never sleeps.

From my youth until that day, I kept coming across freedom and bliss that was independent of external situations. I fell into it as if by accident, until I gradually realized how my spiritual practice was leading me back there. I did everything I could and practiced many, many hours to be close to what the masters say is constant.

Baker Roshi had emphasized that it was important to give him permission to teach. I thought about this during a week of training while doing my assigned gardening. I assumed that my presence was tantamount to permission to teach me, and I was confused. Nevertheless, I gave permission internally and also thought it would be good to know where I was in my spiritual development. In the following class, Baker Roshi said to everyone: “Faced with a student who wants to know where he stands, a Zen master would turn on his heel, laugh and leave.” I was shocked and ashamed that I had obviously understood so little. At the same time, I felt seen and accompanied. Baker Roshi added that a good master would never say what level someone was at in order to avoid them identifying with it.

It was important for me to no longer see myself as a persona on a spiritual path, but to fall into an immediate experience that is carried by the infinite space of awareness. Gradually, this allowed me to shift from consciousness to awareness.

Shortly before beginning a meditation with Baker Roshi, we students were already sitting in the zendo and the longing to be able to enter the enlightened vision of my master was overwhelming. As he entered the room and passed by my seat, the sleeve of his robe brushed against my head as if by chance. My alertness and clear perception increased instantly.

The meditation began and I used a technique that Baker Roshi had recommended. It involved the perception and energization of the spine in connection with breathing and each time I asked myself who could see what I was perceiving, I penetrated into other bodies – from the physical, emotional and mental to the spiritual body. Here I encountered images from previous lives as well as beliefs and when I asked myself who was seeing all of this, I experienced an infinitely wide field. I looked from above at my sitting, meditating body as well as those of the other practitioners. There was no more body awareness, but complete liberation. Also there was the freedom to go anywhere, whereas I just wanted to be where I was – in peace, in stillness, in bliss, in my home. In that moment I knew: this is the field of the masters. Completely absorbed by light-filled awareness. Far away from body and mind.

When the gong was struck to end the meditation, a part of me moved back into the body – similar to what I knew from previous awakening experiences, except that I was aware of awareness from that point on. I had a lasting, pure perception, right up to the present day, and had to find my way around completely new.

After about two years, I went to Baker Roshi to talk to him about this particular event. He confirmed it.

Parallel to my entire apprenticeship with Baker Roshi and even before that, I taught yoga and meditation myself. About two years after my enlightenment experience, I was concerned about that people who came to me were not seriously interested in truth and divine love. During this phase, Jesus appeared to me during a meditation in my practice room in Munich. At first he stood in front of me with his arms outstretched at a distance of about two meters. I could feel that he knew the pain I was currently suffering and also that he had gone far beyond it. He had not stopped loving, or being love, and even now he came to comfort and encourage me. I leaned towards him, put my head in his right hand and he held me.

The sight of him was radiant and beautiful. Everything was filled with divine, pure light and I felt at home. In contrast to my enlightenment experience, this time the divine revealed itself to me very personally. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and felt.

After the apparition had dissolved, I was left with a penetrating bliss. The half of my face that Jesus had held tingled for three days and I repeatedly fell into deep meditation during this time. My wife, who had meditated with me in silence during the apparition, reported afterwards that I had looked like Jesus on the cross and that she had had to look at me continuously.

In the time that followed, many extraordinary healings took place in my presence, such as the straightening of a scoliosis or the healing of a lame foot, to name just two examples. A woman who, according to the doctors, only had a few hours to live was discharged from the hospital without any health restrictions after a phone call with me. People who were meditating with me and knew nothing about my Jesus apparition suddenly spoke of the Holy Spirit, started praying during a meditation or saw pictures of Bible scenes as if they had been there.

I was overwhelmed and also overextended by the transmission power of Christ’s energy. How should I deal with it? Should I become a preacher or a healer?
Although many healings had taken place, I knew that I could not promise anything in this regard. And I was worried about causing prejudice and resistance among a wider audience, which is why I only took few individuals into my confidence. Only in retrospect did I realize that these considerations were strongly influenced by my interpretations. Because I was a spiritual teacher, I assumed that I should “do” something, that I was supposed to tell people something and that Jesus had therefore appeared to me.

I began to look for Jesus in the churches and for clergy who spoke of him in the way I had perceived him. Without success. As a result, I began to want to get to know the Jesus that both St. Francis of Assisi and Yogananda had known. Their descriptions corresponded to my feelings.

Some time later, Jesus appeared to me a second time during a meditation. I realized that he came for me and not because I was a spiritual teacher. I also realized that I had partially rejected his infinite love the first time or had not been able to come close to receiving it. I said to him: “I have seen you and yet I have not seen you.” And he replied: “Now you’re here.” Without reproach or anything of the sort, he shared his pure existence with me.

Further encounters with him followed, all of which were extraordinarily nourishing and precious.

My contact with the spiritual world increased more and more. Masters appeared to me in meditations, whom I recognized inwardly and called by name, although I had never met them in this life. I had dreams of Mary, who taught me at night over a certain period of time, after which I woke up every morning inspired. Adi Da Samraj announced his visit to me in a dream and later, during a meditation, deciphered parts of his teaching that were important for my work. There were many experiences of this kind.

At one point, when I was in despair due to an illness of someone close to me and asked Archangel Michael to show me how I could be of service in this situation, Mary appeared to me. The caring love she radiated was overwhelming. She was free of fear and I understood that this was the answer to my question. It was not about helping, but about being there for this person in true care. Like a child, I let myself be picked up by Mary and was touched for a long time afterwards by the fact that I didn’t feel any worry. I wanted to be able to love like that myself.

I began to meet with other true clairvoyants and met a spiritual teacher who had a deep Jesus connection. Finally, I was able to share my apparitions and experiences with someone who knew something similar.

I first gained a greater insight into working with spiritual beings during a healing treatment. I had often helped people by laying hands on them and now had to watch as a client seemed to leave her body in my presence without me being able to do anything about it. Her breathing became steadily weaker and I was afraid that she was dying. In my overwhelm and helplessness, I began to pray: “Please help me! I can’t do this on my own.” Immediately, a strong current of energy ran through the woman’s body. She opened her now light-filled eyes, straightened up and asked, emotionally nourished: “What was that?”. Support was there – I just had to ask for it.

From this point onwards, I began to work consciously in conjunction with the spiritual world. This intensified the healing work and further development of the necessary skills. I carried out spiritual surgeries – deep interventions in the subtle bodies of people who sought my help. There were distance healings, I supported souls through the power of prayer and accompanied them during transitions in the dying process. Deceased souls also turned to me, which enabled them to clarify their relationships with their loved ones, among other things.

In all of this I was accompanied by ascended masters and angels and I got to know many things that were expressed and applied as if it were a matter of course. Many light-filled souls took part in treatments, took the lead or allowed me to guide them – depending on what was needed at the time. Guan-Yin, Serapis Bey, Paolo Veronese, Hilarion, Archangel Michael … to name but a few.

In my practice room, where I also taught, there were pictures of masters who were very important to me on the wall above a shrine. One evening, students had already gathered for a joint meditation with me when I entered the room, I bowed down in front of the pictures and my gaze was drawn to the portrait of Yogananda. The words “I know you” formed in my mind and suddenly I remembered him – not as Yogananda, but as a disciple of Jesus. At that moment I understood why the photo on the “Autobiography of a Yogi” had always evoked such a familiar feeling.

I turned around and saw Yogananda. He was standing at the door, in his orange robe, and I knew immediately that, after he had recommended that I study Buddhism in my dream, I was now ready to meet him. In his presence, I led the meditation evening for my students. I personally made some of them aware of Yogananda’s presence and that their prayers were reaching him, which touched them deeply. Yogananda supported me by showing me some things, such as the broken heart of a participant. When I asked him how I could help, he replied that my behavior towards her would be naturally influenced by what I had seen. He radiated wisdom and brotherhood and I felt enormously relieved. It was so wonderful to have him here.

During the walking meditation, Yogananda was by my side the whole time and in the silent meditation phase that followed, he was opposite me. My wife, who had wanted to join me at this time, saw me through the glass door. She later described the sight as so “sacred” that she was afraid to enter the room and left.

As Yogananda and I walked through the rows of meditators together again at the end of the evening, I asked him if he wanted me to connect them with him through words, to instruct something special. His answer: “No, Daniel, these are your students” was very significant for me. Yogananda trusted me to be there for these souls and thus confirmed my task as a teacher.

On the way back to my seat, he placed a radiant oval in my heart. In an instant, everything was covered in pure, pure light and Yogananda’s appearance – after more than an hour of time spent together – had disappeared. Overwhelming bliss filled me, completely independent of what was happening on the level of physical reality.

After the end of the meditation, I had already left the practice room and was drawn back to my students. I was about to advise them to pause for a moment and look at the Yogananda portrait when I found three of them standing in front of it with tears in their eyes.

Yogananda had revealed himself to me as a divine master – a master who can appear in form and transmit divine consciousness. At the same time, he had shown me that he is formless, that I am formless, and that there is a multidimensionality that can be experienced – for me as well as for people who are with me and receptive to it.

A few weeks before a planned trip to India, the ascended master Saint Germain visited me repeatedly. It was not immediately clear to me what he wanted to show me, but I had the feeling that I was being prepared for something. Today I know that he was attuning me to Arcturian entities and to being able to receive them. Later, in India, these entities were very present and I kept connecting with them during my meditations.

During one of these meditations, in Ramana Maharshi’s ashram, I noticed something oppressive lying on my chest like a “plank”. When I felt it more closely, it turned into the image of a tear. I was surprised because I didn’t cry – neither tears of joy nor tears of sadness. Suddenly, I heard the word “hate” in my mind, whereupon I had the feeling of being pulled out of my body and wrapped around the globe. In a sequence of milliseconds, many situations appeared to me in which suffering was caused by hate. Gentle tears began to flow. Next came the word “jealousy” and this time, again traveling around the globe at tremendous speed, I was confronted with situations in which suffering was caused by jealousy. The same thing happened a third time, with the word “pride”.

When I saw hate, I could feel peace. The images of jealousy led me to the knowledge that relationships can be supported by security and stability. And the pride awakened the feeling of equality and brotherhood in me. I felt in my heart what was possible and realized that I wasn’t crying tears of hate, jealousy or pride. I was crying tears of love and compassion.

Gradually, the large tear that I had perceived at the beginning of my meditation dissolved. It flowed into an infinite ocean – an ocean of love, which I am.
Then I saw myself, together with ascended masters, looking at the earth from far above from outer space. I saw my body sitting on the ground in meditation and a channel of light leading upwards from there. I understood that this was an ascension channel. And that I was being shown how hatred, jealousy or pride can be redeemed by the divine love in one’s own heart.

After my return from India, more and more people came to me who were struggling with these very issues and whom I could now help even better with their transformation.

During a private session I had with a student, I suddenly felt the presence of a very large, light-filled being. I didn’t know who it was, but I heard the words: “Daniel, your work is guided by us.” Enormous relaxation and reassurance spread through me – when light-filled souls like this stood behind me and my work as a spiritual teacher, I no longer had to worry about many things I had worried about or wanted to do all by myself.

Shortly afterwards, I was leading a meditation during a retreat in Italy when my gaze was drawn upwards and I saw the beautiful light figure once again. It was not an angel and yet I would describe this appearance as “angelic”. I wondered if I was seeing a reflection of my divine self to remind me of who I am, so I said, “Am I you?” The entity replied in the negative. To my second question: “Who are you?” I received no answer. Before the apparition dissolved, I thanked it for allowing me to see it.

I continued with the meditation instructions and saw the entity again – this time standing next to me in the room. In response to my renewed question: “Who are you?” now came: “Your patron saint.” At that moment, a ray of light shot into my heart and I received numerous images from many incarnations in which I had worked as a teacher and healer. An old pain, triggered by persecution, betrayal, denial and even murder, was touched and said goodbye.

With it came the realization that what I was doing in this life, as well as the connection to my patron saint – it was Melchizedek, I now knew – was ancient. I realized that all the masters and mistresses who had appeared to me and with whom I work belong to the White Brotherhood and I became aware of my deep connection with this union of light-filled, enlightened souls who serve here on earth.

It had been no coincidence what I had been involved with all this time, what I had been drawn to and who or what had come into my life to support me. Looking back, I saw the clear plan behind it, the common thread.
I also remembered reading a book by Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov four or five years ago, in which a passage was about Melchizedek, the “Master of Masters”. My experience now confirmed what was written there and what I had not understood at the time.

During a retreat in Italy, Paolo Veronese conveyed a message that I, present in waking consciousness, passed on to the participants for about three quarters of an hour. In essence, he expressed an invitation to serve a greater work. He made it clear that we accept this invitation by allowing our inherent divinity to express itself in unique ways. And that we can choose to do so.

The day after this apparition, I had a vision of eight masters at the same time during class. I saw Jesus, Mary, Archangel Michael, Paolo Veronese, Saint Germain, Guan-Yin, Serapis Bey and Melchizedek and felt their recognition for having accepted the invitation that Paolo Veronese had spoken of. But their appreciation had nothing to do with confirmation or a pat on the back. I understood that my “reward” was to experience divine love and connection.

They said to me: “Take care of those who are yours”, which felt good and easy. And in the time that followed, it prompted me to examine exactly who are “mine” and how “taking care” is to be understood.

Anyone whose heart calls for truth has the opportunity to join this network of light-filled souls in order to be supported by them in the spiritual ascent. The focus is clearly on spiritual healing and on recognizing and fulfilling one’s own soul mission. Because – even if it may sound paradoxical – we follow a greater order by living our uniqueness. This brings us closer to the love and fulfillment we long for.

Every experience, every manifestation is of a temporary nature. It awakens our heart, enriches us, nourishes us … and is carried by the one, absolute truth to which I refer.

I share my experience and show people a path that is possible for them to follow in the midst of their individual life situation. Realization always begins now and finds its expression in our thoughts, speech and actions.

When I touch people directly in their hearts, whatever illusion the mind has created falls away. The soul is given the chance to free itself, to unfold its inherent qualities and to be what it is. And of course, in such a process we also encounter everything that we have put in the way of our heart. We encounter challenges that test us in our ability to love and call us to position ourselves clearly and follow our truth with determination.

As a family man with two children, confronted with all the issues of everyday life, I work in the midst of the world and at the same time experience myself as not of this world. I offer my support to anyone who longs to live their inherent divinity.